<3Smile<3

So its been a couple days or a while i guess since i blogged...Just been busy with Christmas and trying to get stuff taken care of...Got my own apt, will be moving in there in Jan. Im excited!!! The kids are great!!! Im just not that great!!! Im pretending to smile so that know one knows how much pain i am really in. I dont like the holidays when i am this depressed but everyone can see that i am trying my hardest!! and i really am. I want to be happy agian. The last few weeks have been okay...

Just missin My soldier...Its been 2 years today and i just wish that he was still here...I hate that he isnt. I Want to talk to him so badly now more then ever. and i cant. I can talk to him but he cant talk back to me. I hate it!!!!!!!!! I know that is a selfish thing to say but i want him back here and okay and wish that he would have Never joined the Army. I wish that he would have just went to college and stayed. I cant be mad that he followed his dreams but i can be hurt...and i am!!!! Today is the day that i get really emotional...And it only happens once a year!!! Today...Decemeber 9th!!!!!!